Thousand Mile Windchaser Oil

January 2, 2010

There is a generic kind of medicinal product known as windchaser oil, one brand of which is pictured above. More commonly they are appended with “thousand mile” as the premise of these oils is that it will rejuvenate you to such a degree that, after using it, you will be so awesome that you can chase the wind spirits for one thousand miles before you get tired again. Or something like that.

For those who do not believe the description just look at the box. As you can see from the picture if you use this oil you will look super hardcore like the people on the boxes. They look like they’re about to rip your face off because they are so to chase the wind for a thousand miles yet they are trapped in boxes so they are angry. I think the person in blue is supposed to be an old man and the person in pink an old woman given the hairstyle and the cut of the clothing; also I can tell from the pixels that they are just Photoshops of each other because the artist was cutting corners. Presumably by paying their artist half the money they can cram even more ability-enhancing goodness into each bottle.

Each brand of these windchaser oils contains a different, possibly not FDA-approved, blend of expensive, rare herbs and animal parts and technically they are for joint pains and other symptoms of old age. Each brand also has a different claim as to what marvelous feats that you can accomplish if you use it. I will do more research on these wonderful things and write about them again later; I have already found a brand with a name so obtuse that I am having a lot of trouble translating it for your pleasure.

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